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Guido Meyer.
From tinted photo, 1864.1
Enhanced image ©The Nietzsche Channel.

Pforta, March 1, 1863:
Letter to Franziska and Elisabeth Nietzsche.

Dear Mama!

After I went to Naumburg last Sunday2 without having any idea that you were away3 and having encountered only my uncle4 at home, I waited day after day for a letter from you, which I also received on Friday afternoon to my great delight. You seem to be doing very well indeed; I would like to be in Eilenburg myself, where I have not been for so long. Now I do not even know how you amused yourselves at Pforta;5 the dance seemed rather nice to me in general, just a bit boring. In my opinion and everyone else's, the Obersecunders6 performed splendidly and our play7 fell a bit short of that. The main credit goes to Meyer8 in every way, who directed the entire story. — We are unusually busy now. Repeating things all the time, since the end of the semester is near. Will Lisbeth take part in the royal birthday ball?9 —

The event of these recent days is that Meyer,10 to our great sorrow, was expelled specifically because of a prello11 to Almrich,12 which he undertook with several of my friends, but was caught by several teachers on the way back. This hurts us all the more because Meyer has done very well with the teachers over the last six months and has really exerted himself. All sorts of measures have been taken by the teachers to keep him back, but some aggravating circumstances prevented this. We are still living the last days of his stay together,13 proofs of love and devotion are shown to him from all sides; for he is held in very high esteem by all who know him well. This Saturday,14 when the synod15 was held and we were in the greatest excitement, was definitely the saddest day I spent in Pforta. His further fate is now extremely doubtful, since he has no means at all. —

I eagerly await your arrival; greetings to my dear Eilenburg relatives16 from me!

Fare quite well!

Fritz.

1. Guido Meyer (1842-after 1902): Nietzsche's fellow classmate at Schulpforta. Based on a tinted photograph at GSA 101/295 (unavailable).
2. 02-22-1863.
3. She went to visit relatives who lived in Eilenburg: Christliebe Friederike Balster (born Krause, 1782-after 1861) — who was the sister of Nietzsche's paternal grandmother Erdmuthe Nietzsche (born Krause, 1778-1856) — and her daughter Clara (?-?), who was married to Gustav Ehrenberg (?-1893), a factory owner.
4. Theobald Oehler (1828-1881): his maternal uncle.
5. During Shrovetide 1863, Nietzsche was bored with the entire affair (cf. Pforta, February 1863: Letter to Franziska Nietzsche). As opposed to 1862, when he took part in the festivities and performed on stage.
6. On 02-16-1863, the Obersekunda students performed in two plays by Friedrich Ludwig Schröder (1744-1816): a 1-act farce, Irrthum auf allen Ecken; and a 5-act comedy, Die Heirath durch ein Wochenblatt. In: Friedrich Ludwig Schröder; Eduard von Bülow (ed.); Ludwig Tieck (Intro.), Friedrich Ludwig Schröders dramatische Werke. Mit einer Einleitung von Ludwig Tieck. Dritter Band. Berlin: Reimer, 1-58; 127-156.
7. On 02-16-1863, the Unterprima students performed in Wallensteins Lager by Friederich Schiller (1759-1805). Nietzsche did not participate. See Friedrich Schiller, Wallensteins Lager. In: Friedrich Schiller, Karl Gustav Helbig (ed.) Wallenstein. Ein dramatisches Gedicht. Stuttgart; Ausburg: Cotta, 1856, 39-110.
8. Guido Meyer (1842-after 1902): Nietzsche's fellow classmate at Schulpforta.
9. At Pforta on 03-22-1863, celebrating the birthday of King Wilhelm I.
10. On 02-29-1863, Guido Meyer (1842-after 1902), Nietzsche's fellow classmate at Schulpforta, was expelled. He left the school on 03-04-1863. Some details from that time on Meyer, Nietzsche, and Paul Deussen can be found in Paul Deussen, Erinnerungen an Friedrich Nietzsche. Leipzig: Brockhaus, 1901: 4-8: "Während der ganzen Zeit in Schulpforta blieb die engere Freundschaft mit Nietzsche bestehen, wenn auch nicht ohne vorübergehende Erschütterungen. Noch in Untersekunda bildete sich eine sogenannte forsche Clique, in der man rauchte, trank und Fleißigsein als unehrenhaftes Strebertum verurteilte. Auch wir wurden in ihre Netze gezogen, dadurch den andern näher und von einander etwas weiter abgebracht. Für die Macht dieser Vorurteile mag ein Beispiel dienen. Wir hatten Sonntag nachmittags von 2-3 Uhr Arbeitsstunde für solche, welche den Nachmittagsgottesdienst nicht besuchen wollten. Ich las gerade im Livius den Übergang Hannibals über die Alpen und war davon so gefesselt, daß ich, als die Freistunde schlug und die andern ins Freie eilten, noch eine Weile zu lesen fortfuhr. Da kommt Nietzsche herein, um mich abzuholen, ertappt mich über dem Livius und hält mir eine strenge Strafpredigt: 'Also so treibst Du es, und das sind die Mittel und Wege, welche Du in Anwendung bringst, um Deine Kameraden zu überflügeln und Dich bei den Lehrern in Gunst zu sehen! Nun, die andern werden es Dir wohl noch deutlicher sagen.' Beschämt gestand ich mein Unrecht ein und war schwach genug, Nietzsche zu bitten, den andern gegenüber das Vorkommnis zu verschweigen, was er versprach und auch gehalten hat. Aus jener Clique ging nach ihrem Zerfall eine Art Dreibund hervor zwischen Nietzsche, mir und einem gewissen Meyer, welcher schön, liebenswürdig und witzig, auch ein vorzüglicher Zeichner von Karikaturen war, aber mit Lehrern und Schulordnung in ewigem Kampfe lag. Noch in Obersekunda mußte er abgehen; Nietzsche und ich geleiteten ihn bis ans Thor und kehrten wehmütig um, nachdem er auf der Kösener Landstraße unsern Blicken entschwunden war. Noch einmal, es mag fünf Jahre später gewesen sein, habe ich Meyer wiedergesehen, als er mich, mit dem später als ein Opfer des Krieges gestorbenen Hempel, von Neuwied aus bei meinen Eltern zu Oberdreis besuchte. Selten habe ich in ein so zerrissenes Menschenherz geblickt. Durch allerlei widerwärtige Schickungen gebrochen, physisch und moralisch krank, mit Gott, der Welt und sich selbst zerfallen, so zeigte er sich damals. Er hatte es bis zum Steuersupernumerar gebracht und ist später ganz verschollen, wahrscheinlich auch nicht mehr am Leben. Dieser Meyer also war bis zu seinem Abgange im Jahre 1862 der dritte in unserm Bunde. Freilich mußte ich mit Schmerz bemerken, daß dasjenige, was ich an Nietzsche suchte und schätzte, sich sehr wenig vertrug mit dem, wozu Meyer ihn herüberzuziehen bestrebt war. Dies ging so weit, daß die beiden eine Zeit lang meiner überdrüssig wurden und, ohne daß etwas Besonderes vorgekommen wäre, mit mir brachen. Hierzu giebt es in Pforta, wo keiner dem andern aus dem Wege gehen kann, das in seiner Art wertvolle und zweckmäßige Mittel des Tollseins. Man erklärt sich mit jemandem für toll, d. h. man betrachtet es als einen Ehrenpunkt, mit ihm nie und nirgends und unter keinen Umständen ein Wort zu sprechen. Wertvoll nannte ich dieses Mittel, weil es Schlimmeres, z. B. Raufereien u. dgl. verhütet. Nietzsche und Meyer waren also toll mit mir. Sechs Wochen lang dauerte diese schwere Zeit, und mit Freuden begrüßte ich die ersten Symptome einer Annäherung von der andern Seite. Ich trieb damals mit dem längst verewigten Melzer Italienisch, was nur dadurch möglich war, daß wir eine Stunde früher als die andern, also statt um 6 schon um 5 Uhr, aufstanden. Dies wurde natürlich als Strebertum vielfach verurteilt und bespöttelt. Meyer machte, wenn ich nicht irre, damals ein Spottgedicht auf mich, in welchem es hieß: // Des Morgens früh beim ersten Grauen, / Wenn alles noch im Schlaf sich wiegt, / Da kann man schon den Spießer schauen, / Wie er vom Schlafsaal 'runter kriecht, u. s. w. // 'Spießer' (vielleicht verwandt mit Spießbürger) ist in Pforta ein Scheltwort für solche, welche das Arbeiten in tadelnswerter Weise übertreiben. In dieser Zeit saß ich eines Abends kurz vor 8 Uhr auf dem Korridor in der Nähe der Schulglocke und beobachtete die Uhr. Unter den auf und ab spazierenden Gruppen waren auch Nietzsche und Meyer. Plötzlich machen sie vor mir Halt und fragen: 'Che ora è?' Überrascht antworte ich: 'Otto ore, in tre minuti,' und lachend ziehen die beiden weiter, indem sie darüber spotten, daß ich minuti gesagt habe, da doch die Minute weiblichen Geschlechts sei. Natürlich trachtete ich nach Revanche. An einem der nächsten Tage wurde in der Klasse bei Steinhart Virgil erklärt. Nietzsche erhob sich und gab eine jener verwegenen Konjekturen zum besten, welche nicht nur die Überlieferung, sondern auch den Autor selbst zu verbessern bemüht sind. Steinhart widerlegte in längerer lateinischer Rede Nietzsches Einfall und fragte zuletzt, ob noch jemand dazu das Wort wünsche, worauf ich mich erhob und sagte: // Nietzschius erravit, neque coniectura probanda est. // Steinhart schmunzelte, und die Klasse lachte über diesen improvisierten Hexameter. Nach diesem Vorgeplänkel erfolgte eines Abends die Austragung des Streites. Zufällig trafen die beiden Parteien und einige Unbeteiligte in einer Stube zusammen. Anzügliche Redensarten erfolgten von beiden Seiten, ohne direkt an den Gegner gerichtet zu sein. Vielmehr wurde einer der unbeteiligt und ruhig Dasitzenden mehr und mehr der Mittelsmann, an den beide Teile ihre Beschwerden richteten, gleich als ob er sie dem Gegner überbringen sollte, der doch alles unmittelbar hörte und auch sofort darauf replizierte. 'Sagen Sie zu Niezsche' u., 'sagen Sie zu Deussen' u., 'sagen Sie zu Meyer' u. — mit diesen Worten begannen die Vorwürfe, die man dem andern zu machen hatte. Immer lebhafter wurde die Wechselrede, bis man endlich die Fiktion, daß man zu dem Mittelsmanne redete, fallen ließ und das Wort direkt an den Gegner richtete, womit der Bann des Tollseins gebrochen war. Es folgte nun von beiden Seiten eine gründliche Aussprache und als Ergebnis derselben die definitive Versöhnung. // Nur noch einmal, nach Meyers Abgang, wurde Nietzsche auf kurze Zeit von mir durch eine schöngeisternde Koterie abgezogen, deren innere Hohlheit ihn jedoch nicht auf die Dauer mir zu entfremden vermochte. Er fiel mir wieder zu, umsomehr, als er damals noch ein zurückhaltendes, etwas scheues Wesen hatte, wenig Befriedigung an dem Treiben der Menge fand und daher auch von den meisten wenig gekannt wurde. Man wußte nur von ihm, daß er sehr gute deutsche Aufsätze und hübsche Gedichte machte, in der Mathematik außerordentlich schwach war und meisterhaft auf dem Klavier zu phantasieren verstand." (During the entire time at Schulpforta, the close friendship with Nietzsche remained, even if not without temporary disturbances. Even in Untersekunda, a so-called brash clique formed, in which people smoked, drank, and studiousness was condemned as dishonorable striving. We too were drawn into their nets, which brought us closer to the others and a little further away from each other. An example may serve to show the power of these prejudices. We had study periods on Sunday afternoons from 2-3 o'clock for those who did not want to attend the afternoon [religious] service. I was reading in Livy about Hannibal's crossing of the Alps, and I was so fascinated by it that when the hour came and the others hurried outside, I went on reading for a while. Then Nietzsche came in to get me, caught me with Livy and gave me a stern rebuke: "So that's what you are doing, and these are the ways and means that you use to outperform your comrades and put yourself in the teachers' good graces! Well, the others will probably tell it to you even more clearly." Ashamed, I admitted my wrongdoing and was weak enough to beg Nietzsche to keep the incident a secret from the others, which he promised and also kept. After that clique broke up, a kind of triumvirate emerged between Nietzsche, me and a certain Meyer, who was handsome, amiable and witty, also an excellent cartoonist of caricatures, but who was always struggling with teachers and school regulations. He had to leave school while in Obersekunda; Nietzsche and I accompanied him as far as the gate and returned wistfully after he had vanished from our sight on the country road to Kösen. Once more, it may have been five years later, I saw Meyer again when he, from Neuwied together with Hempel, who later died as a victim of the war, visited my parents. Rarely have I observed such a shattered human heart. Broken by all sorts of nasty strokes of fate, physically and morally ill, at odds with God, the world and himself, that's how he revealed himself at the time. He had worked his way up to Tax Supernumerary and later disappeared completely, and is probably no longer alive. So this Meyer was the third in our alliance until his departure in 1862. Of course I had to note with pain that what I sought and valued in Nietzsche was not very compatible with what Meyer was trying to drag him into. This went so far that they both tired of me for a while and broke off with me without anything in particular happening. For this there is in Pforta, where no one can avoid the other, the valuable and purposeful means, in its own way, of being mad [at someone]. One declares oneself mad at someone, i.e. it is considered a point of honor never, anywhere, under any circumstances to speak a word with him. I called this method valuable because it prevents worse things, e.g. brawls and the like. So Nietzsche and Meyer were mad at me. This difficult time lasted for six weeks, and I joyfully welcomed the first symptoms of a rapprochement from the other side. At that time I was studying Italian with Melzer, who has long since passed away, which study was only possible because we got up an hour earlier than the others, that is, at 5 o'clock instead of 6 o'clock. Of course, this was often condemned and ridiculed as striving. Meyer, if I am not mistaken, wrote a satirical poem about me at the time, which said: // Early in the morning at the start of dawn, / When everybody is still cradled in sleep, / You can already see the philistine, / As down from the dorm he creeps, etc. // In Pforta "Spießer" [philistine] (perhaps related to Spießbürger) is an invective for those who culpably overstudy. During this time, just before 8 o'clock one evening, I was sitting in the corridor near the schoolbell and watching the clock. Among the groups walking back and forth were Nietzsche and Meyer. Suddenly they stopped in front of me and asked: "Che ora è?" Surprised, I answered: "Otto ore, in tre minuti," and laughing, the two moved on, mocking me for having said minuti, given that minute is the female gender. Of course I sought revenge. On one of the following days, Steinhart's class was explaining Virgil. Nietzsche stood up and gave one of those bold conjectures which try to improve not only on tradition but also on the author himself. Steinhart refuted Nietzsche's idea in a long speech in Latin, and finally asked if anyone else wished to say something about it, whereupon I got up and said: // Nietzschius erravit, neque coniectura probanda est. [Nietzsche was wrong, and his conjecture cannot be proved.] // Steinhart chuckled and the class laughed at this improvised hexameter. After this preliminary skirmish, the staging of the dispute took place one evening. The two parties and a few uninvolved people happened to meet in a room. Offensive remarks were made by both sides without directing them to the opponent. On the contrary, one of the uninvolved people sitting quietly there became more and more the middleman to whom both parties directed their complaints, as if he were supposed to convey them to the opponent, who, nevertheless, heard everything immediately and immediately replied to them. 'Tell Nietzsche' and 'Tell Deussen' and 'Tell Meyer' and — with these words began the accusations that one had to make against the other until finally the fiction was dropped that one was speaking to the middleman and the words were addressed directly to the opponent, thereby breaking the spell of being mad.There now followed a thorough discussion from both sides and as a result of this a definitive reconciliation. // Only once more, after Meyer's departure, was Nietzsche drawn away from me for a short time by an aesthetic coterie, the inner hollowness of which, however, was not able to alienate him from me permanently. He came back to me, all the more since at that time he still had a reserved, somewhat shy demeanor, found little satisfaction in the goings-on of the crowd, and was therefore little known by most of them. All that was known about him was that he wrote very good German essays and beautiful poems, was extremely weak in mathematics, and was a master at improvising on the piano.)
11. "Prello" was the term used at Schulpforta to describe an unauthorized attempt to leave the school grounds by climbing over the wall.
12. A nearby village between Naumburg and Pforta.
13. Around 03-03-1863.
14. 02-28-1863.
15. On 02-29-1863, Guido Meyer (1842-after 1902), Nietzsche's fellow classmate at Schulpforta, was expelled.
16. See Note 3.

Friedrich Nietzsche.
From tinted photo by Ferdinand Henning,
Naumburg, June 1862.1
Colorized and enhanced image ©The Nietzsche Channel.

Pforta, April 16, 1863:
Letter to Franziska Nietzsche.

Thursday morning.

Dear Mother,

When I write to you today, it is one of the most unpleasant and saddest things I have ever done. I have indeed committed a very bad offense and I do not know if you will and can forgive me for it. It is with a heavy heart and with great reluctance that I take up my pen, especially when I think back to our nice time together during the Easter holidays, which was not spoiled by any discordance. So I got drunk last Sunday and I have no excuse other than that I do not know how much [beer] I can hold and was just a bit excited that afternoon. When I got back, I was caught by Ob[er]l[ehrer] Kern,2 who then had me summoned before the synod on Tuesday, where I was demoted to third in my [class] rank and had an hour of Sunday walks revoked.3 You can imagine how very depressed and upset I am, and in fact most [important] of all is that I have caused you such sorrow with such an undignified story that has never before happened to me in my life. And then how sorry I am regarding Pastor Kletschke, who first showed me such unexpected trust!4 Because of this one instance, I have now completely ruined my tolerable status, which I had acquired last quarter. I am also so angry with myself that my work does not want to progress any further and I still cannot compose myself. Write to me very soon and very sternly, for I deserve it, and no one knows more than I how much I deserve it.

I do not need to reassure you how much I am going to pull myself together since it is going to matter a lot now. I had also become overconfident again, and, albeit extremely unpleasant, have now been roused from this self-assurance.

Today I will go to Preacher Kletschke and speak with him. — By the way, please do not tell anyone else about the entire affair if it is not already known.

By the way, send me my shawl as soon as possible, I am still suffering from hoarseness and chest pains. Also the comb at home.

Now farewell and write to me quite soon and do not be too cross with me, dear mother.

Very upset
Fritz.

1. See GSA 101/3. Carl Ferdinand Henning (1832-?): German portraitist and photographer with a studio at Topfmarkt 14, Naumburg. Henning took 5 photographs of Nietzsche from 1862-1868, and also reproduced two photos: a photo taken at the 1871 Leipzig Trade Fair, depicting Erwin Rohde, Carl von Gersdorff, and Nietzsche; and a photo taken in Basel in 1871 by Friedrich Hermann Hartmann. In 1862, Henning took three photos of Nietzsche. Nietzsche then ordered 2 sets of the three photos, making six in total. The Nietzsche Channel owns one of the 1862 photos (another copy is at GSA 101/3).
2. Franz Georg Gustav Kern (1830-1894): German teacher of Greek, Latin, and German at Schulpforta since around 1860.
3. The Pforta record book contains the following entry: "Synodus Extraordinarius d. XIV m. Aprilis. Nietzsche u. Richter trinken am Sonntage auf dem Bahnhofe zu Kösen während einer Stunde je vier Seidel Bier. N. war davon betrunken u. noch ersichtlicher Richter." (Special synod on April 14. Nietzsche a[nd] Richter [Rudolf Richter (1845-1870)] drank four pints of beer in an hour while at the train station in Kösen. N[ietzsche] was drunk from it a[nd] Richter even more obviously so.) Also, in the margin, Nietzsche's punishment: "Nietzsche: vom Primus abgesetzt u. 1 Stunde Ausgang." (Nietzsche: demoted from first in his class a[nd] loss of [his] 1 hour walk.)
4. Hermann Kletschke (1833-1902): Teacher, pastor, and Nietzsche's last tutor at Schulpforta. He had just made Nietzsche his assistant. Franziska wrote to Kletschke on April 17, apologizing for her son's behavior.

Friedrich Nietzsche.
By: Ferdinand Henning.
From b/w photo, Naumburg, June, 1862.
Colorized and enhanced image ©The Nietzsche Channel.

Pforta, May 2, 1863:
Letter to Franziska Nietzsche.

Dear Mama.

Your kind letter2 with the camphor linament came to me very agreeably, since I heard a great deal from you again, which indeed also interested me very much. First of all, to report on my discomfort,3 the hoarseness is still there and in fact undiminished; I have been drinking seltzer water with milk since yesterday and it seems to relieve my throat a bit. It is gradually getting awful for me in the infirmary, especially since the weather and skies are looking cheerful today. Although I am doing work here, it cannot be much because I am always lacking one or another book. I make excerpts from Hettner's Literary History of the 18th Cent.;4 in general, I am working on a lot of literary history.

As for my future, it is these very practical concerns that worry me. The decision as to what to study does not come by itself. So I have to think and choose for myself; and it is this choice that troubles me. It is certainly my aim to study what I am studying in its entirety, but the choice becomes all the more difficult since one has to select the subject in which one can hope to achieve something good. And how deceptive these hopes are! How easily one gets carried away by a passion of the moment, or an old family tradition, or some special desire, so that choosing a career seems like a lottery in which there are a lot of losing tickets and very few winners. Now I am still in the particularly unpleasant position of really having a large number of interests scattered over the most diverse subjects, the comprehensive satisfaction of which would make me a learned man, but hardly a professional animal. So it is clear to me that I have to shed some interests. Also that I have to gain some new ones. But which ones shall then be so unfortunate that I throw them overboard, perhaps even my favorite children!

I cannot express myself more clearly, the critical situation is obvious, and I must make a decision over the course of the year. It does not come by itself, and I do not know enough about the subjects myself.

Enough. — I really have nothing more to write than that I very much regret not having seen the bridal couple5 in Pforta.

My very best regards to Lisbeth and Uncle!6

Fare quite well everyone!

Fritz.

1. See GSA 101/4. Carl Ferdinand Henning (1832-?): German portraitist and photographer with a studio at Topfmarkt 14, Naumburg. Henning took 5 photographs of Nietzsche from 1862-1868, and also reproduced two photos: a photo taken at the 1871 Leipzig Trade Fair, depicting Erwin Rohde, Carl von Gersdorff, and Nietzsche; and a photo taken in Basel in 1871 by Friedrich Hermann Hartmann. In 1862, Henning took three photos of Nietzsche. Nietzsche then ordered 2 sets of the three photos, making six in total. The Nietzsche Channel owns one of the 1862 photos (another copy is at GSA 101/3).
2. The letter is lost.
3. According to an 1863 entry in the Pforta medical records, Nietzsche suffered from catarrh from April 24 to May 5; and, from May 7-20, he had an ear infection.
4. Hermann Hettner (1821-1882), Literaturgeschichte des achtzenten Jahrhunderts. Zweiter Theil. Geschichte der französischen Literatur im achtzenten Jahrhunderts. Braunschweig: Viewig, 1860. See the entry for Hettner in Nietzsche's Library. The book was lent to Nietzsche by his childhood friend, Wilhelm Pinder (1844-1928). Nietzsche wrote down a 26-page excerpt from the book which is at GSA 71/220, and at Nietzsche Source (DFGA Mp-V-25).
5. Franziska Nietzsche's sister, Ida Oehler (1833-?), and Moritz Schenkel (1834-1909), pastor at Cainsdorf, near Dresden, were married on 08-27-1863.
6. Theobald Oehler (1828-1881): his maternal uncle.

August Redtel.1
From tinted photo, ca. 1865.
Colorized and enhanced image ©The Nietzsche Channel.

Pforta, September 6, 1863:
Letter to Franziska and Elisabeth Nietzsche.

Sunday evening around ten o'clock.

My greetings to you all!

Isn't it true, a few lines from me are now quite expected, since I myself could not really come today. Although I have not witnessed anything myself; on the other hand, in the course of things last week I thought I would have a page full of the most colorful, loveliest experiences; but the week has limped by, and has only given me a slip of paper, from which I learned that you were still thinking of me, and that my laundry must be dirty, which, quite strangely enough, was true.2

So today a few lines in order for you to learn that I am still alive, that I have been poring over books and that I cannot think of getting out of this entrenchment until next Saturday. At the same time I am cheerful, occasionally disgruntled, and I experience things that are at times good and amusing and at times annoying, but the clockwork is in motion and keeps on whirring, whether a fly lands on it or a nightingale sings as well.

However, the autumn and its ripened air has driven away the nightingales, and the flies have contracted a cold. And I love the autumn very much, even though I know it more through my memory and through my poems.

But the air is so crystal-clear, and one can see so sharply from earth to sky, the world lies naked before one's eyes.

When I can think for several minutes whatever I want, then I look for words for a melody that I have, and for a melody for words that I have, and these two things that I have do not go together, even though they come from the same soul. But such is my fate!

Now they are leaving again, the swallows that are setting sail towards the south, and we are singing sentimentally behind them again and waving our mugs, and many a person is wiping his nose with emotion, for the postilion is blowing [his horn]: You are almost thirty years old!3

Nowadays, this is called a stage of life, and many a graduate now imagines life as a cake from which he has eaten the smaller, slightly burnt piece, and now he energetically sets about removing the bigger, sweeter slice with dignified preparation.

And behold, there remains a shabby remnant, which one calls life experience, and one is embarrassed to throw it to the dogs. Out of reverence perhaps. Because it has cost one many teeth. —

Lisbeth, please purchase very nice ones of them for me from Domrich7 and send them to me on Tuesday. It is for Miss Anna Redtel.8 I have promised. Please!

Fritz.                  

hoping to see you Wednesday in Almrich;
it is graduation.9 Fare quite well!

1. August Redtel (1849-1875): an underclassman at Schulpforta whom Nietzsche tutored, and the brother of Anna Caecilie Auguste Mathilde Redtel (1843-?), with whom Nietzsche was infatuated. See Note 8.
2. The note on a slip of paper to which Nietzsche is replying is lost. Nietzsche could not meet them at Almrich, a nearby village between Naumburg and Pforta.
3. A postilion was a postal messenger who used a horn to signal his arrival. For "Schier dreißig Jahre bist du alt" (You are almost thirty years old), cf. Karl von Holtei, Lenore. Vaterländisches Schauspiel mit Gesang in drei Abtheilungen. Berlin: Duncker & Humboldt, 1929. Erste Abtheilung. Die Verlobung. Fünfter Auftritt, 42. "Schier dreißig Jahre bist du alt, / Hast manchen Sturm erlebt. / Hast mich wie ein Bruder beschützet, / Und wenn die Kanonen geblitzet, / Wir Beide haben niemals gehebt." (You are almost thirty years old, / Have experienced many a storm. / Have protected me like a brother, / And when the cannons flashed, / Neither of us ever wavered.)
4. Robert Schumann (1810-1856): German composer of Fantasiestücke (Fantasy Pieces), Op. 12 (1837), 8 piano pieces which includes "Des Abends" ("In the Evening").
5. Robert Schumann, Kinderszenen (Scenes From Childhood), Op. 15 (1838), 13 piano pieces.
6. Robert Volkmann (1815-1883): German composer of Visegrád (1855).
7. Julius Domrich: a bookseller in Naumburg.
8. Anna Caecilie Auguste Mathilde Redtel (1843-?): a young woman — 17 months older than Nietzsche — with whom Nietzsche was infatuated. She was the sister of an underclassman at Schulpforta (August Redtel, 1849-1875) whom Nietzsche tutored. Nietzsche became acquainted with her in late August 1863 when she and her mother and sister visited her brother on a "mountain day" in the nearby hills of Pforta, where she and Nietzsche danced together. She then visited Kösen with her mother; Nietzsche visited her in Kösen where they played piano duets together. He then hired a scriviner in Naumburg to copy neatly seven of his piano compositions, which he then put into a small booklet and sent to her. See "Rhapsodische Dichtungen. An Fräulein Anna Redtel von Fr. Nietzsche im September des Jahres 1863." Online at GSA 71/241. Also at Nietzsche Source, DFGA B-VII. She thanked him in September 1863 with a short note on a visiting card: "Unmöglich kann ich verreisen ohne Ihnen vorher meinen herzlichsten Dank gesagt zu haben für das mir von Ihnen so freundlich zugedachte Notenheft. Da mir aber der mündliche Weg versagt ist, so sollen Ihnen diese Zeilen schriftlich versichern, wie herzlich ich mich darüber gefreut habe und dass ich noch oft und gern mich der schönen Stunden mit Ihnen zusammen verlebt erinnern werde. Ein herzliches Lebewohl ruft Ihnen / Anna Redtel[.]" (It is impossible for me to travel without first having said my most heartfelt thanks to you for the booklet of music you so kindly gave me. However, since I am unable to speak to you in person, these lines should assure you in writing how sincerely delighted I was about it and that I will often and fondly remember the beautiful hours we spent together. A heartfelt farewell calls out to you / Anna Redtel[.]) A Bonn, 10-24/25-1864 letter to his sister (in German; in English) shows that over a year after meeting Redtel, Nietzsche was still thinking about her. On 09-09-1866, Redtel became engaged to the master builder, Richard Theune (1838-?) in Berlin. They were married on 04-16-1868. The births of first a son (Johannes Friedrich Heinrich Theune) on 02-28-1869, and then a daughter (Marie Caecilie Theune) on 06-10-1870 were announced in the local tradepaper, Deutsche Bauzeitung Berlin. See 1869; 1870. Another daughter (Magdalena Bertha Theune) was born on 07-29-1873.
9. Graduation ceremonies took place on 09-09-1863.

Title page of:

Rhapsodische Dichtungen.
An
Fräulein Anna Redtel.
von
Fr. Nietzsche
im September des Jahres
1863.1

September 1863:
Visiting card from Anna Redtel to Nietzsche in Pforta.

It is impossible for me to travel without first having said my most heartfelt thanks to you for the booklet of music2 you so kindly gave me. However, since I am unable to speak to you in person, these lines should assure you in writing how sincerely delighted I was about it and that I will often and fondly remember the beautiful hours we spent together. A heartfelt farewell calls out to you

Anna Redtel[.]

1. Anna Caecilie Auguste Mathilde Redtel (1843-?): a young woman — 17 months older than Nietzsche — with whom Nietzsche was infatuated. She was the sister of an underclassman at Schulpforta (August Redtel, 1849-1875) whom Nietzsche tutored. Nietzsche became acquainted with her in late August 1863 when she and her mother and sister visited her brother on a "mountain day" in the nearby hills of Pforta, where she and Nietzsche danced together. She then visited Kösen with her mother; Nietzsche visited her in Kösen where they played piano duets together. He then hired a scriviner in Naumburg to copy neatly seven of his piano compositions, which he then put into a small booklet and sent to her. See "Rhapsodische Dichtungen. An Fräulein Anna Redtel von Fr. Nietzsche im September des Jahres 1863." Online at GSA 71/241. Also at Nietzsche Source, DFGA B-VII. She thanked him in this September 1863 short note on a visiting card. A Bonn, 10-24/25-1864 letter to his sister (in German; in English) shows that over a year after meeting Redtel, Nietzsche was still thinking about her. On 09-09-1866, Redtel became engaged to the master builder, Richard Theune (1838-?) in Berlin. They were married on 04-16-1868. The births of first a son (Johannes Friedrich Heinrich Theune) on 02-28-1869, and then a daughter (Marie Caecilie Theune) on 06-10-1870 were announced in the local tradepaper, Deutsche Bauzeitung Berlin. See 1869; 1870. Another daughter (Magdalena Bertha Theune) was born on 07-29-1873.
2. See "Rhapsodische Dichtungen. An Fräulein Anna Redtel von Fr. Nietzsche im September des Jahres 1863." Online at GSA 71/241. Also at Nietzsche Source, DFGA B-VII.